Tuesday, May 01, 2007

My Fish Reflection

In science, we had to reflect on every activity we did. I turned this in and Dr. Foster told me I wrote really good reflections when I was stressed. She gave me full credit (10 points). That really upset one of the girls in my carpool because she wrote a real reflection and only got 7 points. What can I say? I wasn't expecting any points. So, here's my reflection after we did fish painting...

How does fish printing promote interdisciplinary teaching? To be completely honest, I have no earthly idea right now. I am exhausted beyond belief, completely stressed out, completely overwhelmed and feeling like I am not going to make it through the remainder of the semester. I have reflected until I am blue in the face and simply can’t deal with another reflection this weekend. I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown and there is no way on the face of the earth that I can complete the assignments I have left this semester. I’m neglecting my family, my home, my job and my health to be able to survive this semester and I simply am unable to write this reflection. I work 7.5 hours every day and commute to class 1.25 hours 4 days a week. In addition, this semester I have had to deal with the following life happenings:

1. My husband had to take a job in Austin so he is only home on the weekends. I don’t sleep well when he is gone so I stay exhausted. I was also depending on him to be home to take care of things like cooking, feeding the dogs, etc.

2. I’m dealing with menopause. Hot flashes every 2 hours most nights which wake me up and contributes to my lack of sleep.

3. My youngest child is a senior this year and I’ve missed every Tuesday softball game her senior year. I swore I was not going to miss any of her games her senior year but I can’t put off graduating an entire long semester just to go to softball games.

4. At the end of January, my oldest daughter informed us she was pregnant and getting married in March, in Corpus Christi. Because of school, my only contribution to the wedding was paying for things and dress shopping. I’m getting docked a day’s pay, which I cannot afford, to have been able to go to Corpus Christi and help set up for the wedding.

5. I had the flu, missed an entire week of school and 3 days of work. I have never missed 3 days of work in a school year, much less in one week.

6. My 37 year old brother had emergency quadruple by-pass surgery so I missed 1 day of work and 1 class to be with him.

7. My grandson had his tonsils out so I missed 1 day of work and 1 class to be with him.

8. I had food poisoning, missing a day of work and a night of class because I was deathly ill.

9. My youngest daughter now has a boyfriend so I have the stress of worrying what they’re doing while her dad and I are gone all week. I trust her but she’s 18 and alone all week and I know what can happen.

10. I’m having to depend on my husband to pay the bills and take care of our finances this semester and that is his biggest weakness. I have no idea what I will be faced with in May when I take that job back over. The thought of it stresses me out completely but I can’t deal with doing it until school is over. I’m doing good just to get through the days.

11. There are various and sundry other annoyances that would not be a blip on the radar screen except for the fact that my life is falling apart right now.

So, reflecting on how fish printing promotes interdisciplinary teaching means absolutely nothing to me right now. Reflecting on this will in no way impact what kind of teacher I will be and I simply cannot deal with thinking about it.

I know I will get no credit for this reflection but that’s OK, it sure felt good to get this all on paper and have someone “listen” even if it was involuntary listening.

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